The Last Memory
Short Story by Destiny George
Abigail sat in her favorite rocking chair staring blankly at the trees and flowers that filled the yard. She couldn’t quite recall why she was sitting there, or who the children were that swung on the tire hanging from one of the large branches. The sounds of her husband Finn's gentle humming and the distant chirping of birds outside seemed to fade into a haze. She couldn’t help but compare herself to the trees. She was once strong and deep rooted, but now withering away with branches that are bare and brittle. She felt like a stranger in her own life, a woman trapped in a body that no longer belonged to her. Finn could see her concerned stare, and gently slipped his hand over hers. They rocked together in silence, but it was clear they both knew things would never be as they once were.
It wasn’t always like this. Abigail and Finn had met in June of 1966 at a Beatles concert in Chicago. Almost 60 years later, he still carried the picture of Abby in her yellow sundress swaying to the sounds of “A Day in the Life”. The two of them built a strong and steady foundation. It was built with years of laughter, tears, and shared experiences. Since that night, they had built their forever home, had four beautiful children and were blessed with plenty of grandchildren. They were now the foundation, the two of them had once built.
The sounds of the doctor’s voice started to fade as Finn listened to him speak. “A new case of dementia arises somewhere in the world every 3 seconds. It is a chronic condition that causes the gradual and progressive neurodegeneration in the brain….”. It started off mild. Things as simple as forgetting where she put her keys, or not being able to recall her daughter’s phone number that she had dialed countless times. However, as time went on, things progressed rapidly. This was expected of course. Although emotions were high at the initial doctor’s appointment, Finn still made a point to grasp what was being told to them, as he knew his wife would shortly forget. It didn’t matter how many doctor’s appointments they went to together; Finn would always grab her hand to tell her “You’ll never leave me, til’ I’m gone”.
Unfortunately, the disease began to get the best of Abigail. The world around her became more confusing. She began to feel defenseless, afraid, trapped, and angry. She was losing the ability to do things as simple as expressing her feelings of fatigue, hunger, and anxiousness. This made her lash out at those around her, including her husband, Finn. No one knows for sure why it happens. Aggression may be a symptom of Alzheimer’s disease itself. It could also be a reaction when a person feels confused or frustrated. Many times, there were triggers that Finn could spot. Common triggers for Abigail were, confusion from being asked too many questions at once, being criticized or told she was wrong, not being allowed to do something or go somewhere, and mainly forgetting the names of people who were important to her.
Being a headstrong man, Finn never gave up on Abigail. He had countless nights of staying up researching ways to bring back some of the memories he and his wife had made together. He read all the tips and advice word for word and studied each detail as if studying for a test. Research said things like, “Pictures and written descriptions can be useful records of things that have happened, give simple answers to questions and repeat them as often as needed, break tasks down into something simpler, etc.”. His eyes were heavy, and the weight of her sickness began to take a toll on him. However, he would catch a glimpse of her sleeping peacefully next to him and would suddenly feel at ease. He gently brushed her hair out of her face and took a moment to take in her beauty. A beauty that had only gotten brighter over years. He grinned and then whispered, “You’ll never leave me, til’ I’m gone”.
In Finn’s research, he came across an article that really stuck with him. Dr. Jakubowski wrote, “So procedural memories are something like remembering motor sequences, like being able to ride a bike, right? So, when people might not have this kind of semantic memory anymore for names and places, they still have this kind of memory for the motor sequence of singing along lyrics, probably because they’ve sang along to that song lots of times before, or at least sang along in their minds lots of times before to that piece of music”. Music had always been a staple in their love story, starting that night they met in June of 1966. Finn had also read that places that were once special, can also trigger certain memories.
Abigail shakily shuffled out of her bedroom the next morning to the familiar sounds of her husband humming, and the rich smell of fresh coffee filling the air. Finn caught a glimpse of her standing in the door to the kitchen and grinned from ear to ear. He kissed her and asked her to get dressed for a day he had planned. She gave him a concerned look, which looked all too familiar to Finn those days. He grabbed her by the hand and helped her get dressed and aided her to the passenger seat of their 1970 Dodge Challenger. It was the first major purchase they made together and stayed covered in the garage most of the time. He started it up and watched Abigail as “Hey Jude” began to play over the speakers. He couldn’t help but feel discouraged when she continued to sit there with the same blank stare out the window. Once again, Finn did not give up. He put the car in drive and made his way to Grant Park, a place she was sure to remember. He helped her out of the car and stayed patient with all her concerning questions.
The two of them made their way over to a bench that overlooked a bright and beautiful garden. That spot was where Finn asked Abigail to marry him many moons ago. He kept going over his research in his head that study after study had found that memories associated with high emotions are more likely to spontaneously come to the surface than non-emotional ones. He pulled out a hand-held speaker that played “And I Love Her” by The Beatles. He managed to find the original cheap ring he gave her that day in her jewelry box that he then pulled out of his pocket. He winced as he forced himself on one knee in front of her. She pulled her eyes to meet his, something that was a rarity those days. He grabbed her hands and told her how much he loved her, and it was as if no feelings had changed since that very day he once knelt there. He slipped the ring on her finger and slowly managed to sit back on the bench next to her. Abigail said nothing as she spun the ring on her hand and listened to her once favorite band. Finn felt defeated and let out a long sigh, never moving his hand from her back.
It was if he fell into a trance. He sat there as his brain played a cinematic film of the years and memories of his sweet wife. He closed his eyes and embraced the memory of her holding their first-born child. She was so strong then. She never let down her strong demeanor even with the harsh contractions she was having on the traffic-filled ride to the hospital. His eyes still closed, he couldn’t help but grin at the memory of her cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the family, with a toddler hanging from her leg and oven mitts covering her hands. Finn had always been infatuated with her cooking and Abigail always made sure Finn had the first made plate, regardless of the occasion. He found the grin melting from his face as he opened his eyes to see Abigail still looking down at the ring on her finger. As the disease progressed, he knew their relationship would change; however, he always hoped that the connection they had would never waver. He knew that Alzheimer’s would never change her love for him but was finally accepting the fate that she would one day forget it ever existed.
The silence overtook Finn and he adjusted himself to stand up when Abigail grabbed his hand and began to speak. She looked out towards the garden and said, “The wind was blowing so hard, it was like the trees were dancing outside. You were so nervous you could barely hold your hat on”. Finn hastily turned his body towards her and held on to every word. She continued, “Your eyes were shining with excitement. You took my hand, and we stood at this exact spot, feeling like we were on top of the world. And even though life has taken its toll on our memories, I'll never forget that moment. You asked me to be yours on that windy day, and saying yes was the best decision I could have ever made.” The two of them embraced and emotions seemed to fill the entire park when she ends by saying, “Our love is one thing this disease could never take from us. I know now and forever that you will not leave me til’ you’re gone”.